Starting small with self-compassion

Evening lovely readers 👋

Self-compassion is often misunderstood. It’s easy to picture it as bubble baths, scented candles, and cosy blankets—and while those things can be lovely, true self-compassion is much broader. Sometimes, it looks like setting a boundary, saying no to something that drains you, or finally addressing something you've been avoiding. At its heart, self-compassion is about recognising when we’re struggling and responding with kindness, not criticism. It involves strength and courage.

If you find self-compassion hard, the key is to start small. Think of it as building a new habit—one that strengthens with practice. Instead of waiting for the perfect moment to be kind to yourself, try weaving small moments of self-compassion into your day. A simple way to begin is by checking in with yourself:

How am I feeling? What do I need? or what do I need to do?

This mantra is one I return to often. It starts with connection—pausing to acknowledge how we’re really doing. From there, we gently explore what might help, whether it’s rest, reassurance, action, or support. This simple act of tuning in is itself an act of self-compassion.

Journal Prompts to Begin

Journalling can help us deepen this practice, creating a space to reflect on our experiences with curiosity rather than judgment. Here are a few prompts to get you started:

1. What’s one small, kind thing I can do for myself today?
   (It could be a deep breath, a stretch, a moment of stillness).

2. Where have I been hard on myself lately? How might I offer myself more understanding?
   (Imagine how you’d respond to a friend in the same situation).

3. Is there something I’ve been avoiding that needs my attention? How can I approach it with gentleness?
   (Avoidance is not an act of self-compassion, we can approach avoidance more easily if we are not self-critical about whatever it is we are avoiding.

4. What’s one thing I can say no to, or set a boundary around, to protect my energy?
   (Self-compassion often means recognising our limits and honouring them),

5. When was a time I showed myself kindness in the past? How did it feel?
   (Use this as a reminder that you are capable of self-compassion).

Small steps, big shifts

When we practise self-compassion in small ways, we begin to rewire the way we treat ourselves. Over time, the critical voice grows quieter, and a kinder, more supportive one takes its place. Self-compassion isn’t about ignoring difficulties or sugar-coating reality—it’s about showing up for ourselves in a way that acknowledges our struggles and supports us through them.

So today, ask yourself: How am I feeling? What do I need? What do I need to do? And whatever your answer, meet it with kindness.

Let me know how you get on in the comments—I’d love to hear how you give yourself small acts of self-compassion.

Warm wishes as always

Hannah x